One Year in Paris

on finding an everyday rhythm, building community, and learning to live between worlds

If January ‘25 Ofelia could see January ‘26 Ofelia, she’d be astonished, full of gratitude and very much convinced she’s the luckiest person in the world. As I reflect back on 2025, I see it as a year of wanderlust, observation, and growing outside of my comfort zone. I even became comfortably conversational in French! Paris quickly became a place I call home, its daily rhythms gradually becoming part of my way of being.

Favorite Moments

There are so many favorite moments from the past year, but I’ll highlight just a few below!

Making New Friends

I’ve made so many wonderful new friendships this past year and I truly can’t imagine my life without them now. My husband started referring to me as the social chair of our household because on a weekly basis, I had several hangouts planned and things to do on our calendar.

left: from an outing to a photo exhibit | right: from lunch at le petite marché

French & Integration Classes

I’ve progressed my French fairly quickly and I’m eager to continue growing my language comprehension abilities. I need to master B2 level for my citizenship exam, but also because I want to be able to communicate with ease on any topic with anyone I encounter.

People Watching in Parks

My husband jokes that I subconsciously seat myself with a view of the kitchen at restaurants so I can watch the food come out and that might be the same reason I love parks. I’m an observer, I focus on small details, and take life in the best way. Nothing makes me happier than sitting in a lounge chair with a good book and occasionally dozing off in the park with people all around me.

last august wandering through jardin de luxembourg

Writing On Home

One of my favorite newsletters I’ve written and shared to date. It wouldn’t exist without the heartache of living between two worlds. While I wish I could scoop up all my loved ones and move them to Paris with me, that tension makes everything feel extra real.

What I’ve Learned

• I moved a lot in the US after college and thought I understood change, but moving across the world in your 30s (or any age!) has been unlike any of my other moves. It pushes you beyond your limits and well outside of your comfort zone. You’re forced to grapple with reality in so many ways, especially in a country with a different native language.

• Making friends is easier when you put yourself in situations that are conducive to making them. I’ve found you often just have to ask and make the first move. In some ways, it’s another way of dating. You often find people in similar stages of life who are open to connection. That said, making friends with French people can be harder (not impossible!). They tend to have very tight knit circles and often make new friends only during major life events (marriage, having kids, starting new jobs), etc.

• Things are less scary when you say them out loud! Especially when you share them with your loved ones, because sometimes you just need encouragement to get over the mental obstacles we often place in front of ourselves.

from a museum visit last winter

• The community you build becomes deeply meaningful to you. It’ll make you walk 30 minutes to the same shop every time you’ve run out of your favorite toner because the attendant remembers your name and always asks how you’re doing with a big smile on her face every time you stop by. The price of convenience is no longer a motivator for you.

• Learning the language will make you fall more in love with the city. You adapt more easily, understand people better, and pick up on cultural nuances and mannerisms.

• Parts of you will never be the same. You’ll learn to appreciate different aspects of life and wonder how you ever did it differently. You’ll have a new found appreciation for a lot of things and even start to wonder if you’ll ever “go back.”

Paris oddly felt like home the moment we arrived. Was finding an apartment hard? Yeah. Has dealing with the French bureaucracy been hard? Heck yeah. Do I dislike how much people smoke here? Sure. But those are small moments in an otherwise incredible year. I feel incredibly lucky to call Paris my home.

along the seine in september

Shocking Things

Before I continue, I want to be clear that this has been what I’ve experienced in Paris. A tiny sliver of Paris, shaped by timing, privilege, and circumstance. One thing this year has taught me, it’s that two things can be true at once—and Paris lives comfortably in that gray area for everyone.

In no particular order — things that blew my mind at some point over the last year.

Dental Care

My first dentist visit was, well, surprisingly different. I expected to be greeted by a dental hygienist, but instead I was greeted by the dentist herself. My cleaning lasted about 15 minutes — I was shocked at how fast I was out the door.

I was also told that if I didn’t want to floss, I didn’t have to — it wasn’t strictly necessary. That definitely shocked me, especially after growing up in the US and being told how important it was to floss daily.

OBGYN

My mother in law forgot to warn me that you basically strip naked and aren’t offered a gown during your pap smears. I recall my OBGYN telling me to take my pants off while she was standing across the room.

I stood there confused looking like a less cute version of Winnie the Pooh, waiting for something to break the silence and my confused state, but she simply waved me over to sit down.

Afterward, she told me to take off my top so she could check my breasts. I remember buffering for a moment and asking if I could put my pants on. It gave “hiding your underwear from your OBGYN” a whole new meaning.

I later had to get a follow-up colposcopy (which I hope you never experience) and wasn’t warned that my cervix would be displayed in 4k on a screen. I opted not to look — mostly out of shock. I’ve never been offered this level of autonomy over my body in the US.

After the appointment, I immediately received a message in my portal that mentioned “doctors notes.” I naively opened it while waiting to pay and as I scrolled down, I realized I was looking at images of my cervix. I had to sit down immediately — as I was quite literally about to faint from the entire experience.

Speaking of which, as a woman in her 30s with fibrous breasts, I have to get ultrasounds often to ensure nothing is amiss. After they confirmed all was well, they sent me home with a 10 page spread of my ultrasound images for me to keep. Something that feels impossible to acquire in the US without several phone calls and a lot of time on hold. I might frame them.

ps — I will say booking appointments is fairly easy thanks to a platform called Doctolib and I’m honestly surprised something like this doesn’t exist in the US. You can also keep a centralized record of your immunizations, which makes tracking everything so much easier.

at least my doctor’s office is near one of my favorite bakeries

Bureaucracy

I had seen countless videos about bureaucratic woes from visa renewals, but my husband assured me it couldn’t be that bad. Turns out, it all depends on the visa type. Spousal visas are often highly scrutinized due to the “ease” of qualifying for citizenship. Either way, it feels like you’re jumping through hoops each time to meet the requirements.

Customer Service

Specifically “government” related customer service — you have to be nice and often act a little helpless. While frustrating, people in these positions have the power to straight up “lose” your file at the bottom of a stack, which would force you to start over with no accountability.

I’ve learned that your experience will be highly dependent on the person you happen to get that day. There have been many times that my husband has called back immediately just to speak with someone else and receive a completely different response which is a rare experience in the US.

There’s very much a “that’s not possible” (aka I don’t want to deal with this) mentality until you chance upon someone who is willing to help. And no one is exempt from this experience. My husband, who is a French citizen, struggled for ten months to get his carte vitale so he could access healthcare coverage and pay his taxes! At least it’s a universal experience.

view from our airbnb as we looked for an apt in paris last january — the process was very much absurd!

Catch 22s

When you first move, you often need something before you can get something else. To get a cell phone, you need an address. To get an address, you need an apartment contract. To get an apartment, you usually need a bank account, which asks for a phone number — the cycle continues.

I remember needing to validate my visa within three months of arrival while racing to secure an apartment. When I submitted my renewal, I couldn’t provide a cell phone number because we had been battling with a phone company for four weeks just to open our account. Why were they taking so long? No clue, but we were repeatedly told they were verifying our documentation and identity. We thankfully found a different provider who provided a much more straightforward experience.

the kitchen view of one of the apartments we toured but didn’t get

Deliveries

We live in a building that has a gardienne (a dying profession in France, unfortunately), so our packages and mail are often received by her. She then drops it off at our door when we’re home. Many of my friends aren’t as lucky and either have to be home to receive their packages or send them to pick up locations to collect at their earliest convenience.

Package Drop Offs

Last month, I went to three different locations across Paris trying to return a package. It took hours to finally find a place that accepted it. Safe to say, I’ll be sticking to in person shopping whenever possible.

Package Pick Ups

Sort of related, in store pick ups are not always “free” like they usually are in the US. I learned this while setting up a pick up at Sephora only to see an additional pick up fee at checkout. It did, however, motivate me to walk my butt over there and served as a reminder that convenience has a price here.

Vaccines

If you need a vaccine or medicine administered via a needle, you go to the pharmacy to pick it up, and store it in your fridge until you get an appointment with a nurse or a doctor to administer it. These are not things that are kept at your doctor’s office.

view from victor hugo’s apartment

Coconut Culture

There’s an unspoken barrier between you and the French. France is often described as a coconut culture — hard on the outside and soft on the inside. It’s hard to break through the hard outer shell — you have to be kind and polite, but not overly friendly at first. As you slowly get to know them, and trust builds they start to open themselves up to you. The US is sometimes defined as a peach culture, soft on the outside, but harder to truly know someone on the inside.

This might explain why the French often get labeled as rude or mean. I’ve noticed myself slowly closing myself off to strangers. I find myself no longer waving at cars to “thank them” for letting me cross, and smiling less when I lock eyes with someone down the street. I don’t think there is a “right” or “wrong” way, but you’re highly impacted by your surroundings.

This reminds me of when we met a French couple while camping in the Tetons. After we realized we’d be at the same campsite at Yellowstone, they had mentioned meeting up for dinner. I asked my husband if he actually thought if we’d see them again. He said “oh definitely, French people don’t just say that.”

Frenchification

You’ve probably heard of how the French are very particular about their language. The more I learn, the more I understand why — small changes in phrasing can drastically alter the meaning. That said, there are inconsistencies that exist. They’ll insist on the “correct” pronunciation of the word croissant, but happily Frenchify words like cookie and brookie. The selectiveness is funny to me — especially when I have to pronounce an English word wrong to be understood.

ps — my native language is Spanish, followed by English. Anytime people know I speak Spanish, they assume it’s easier for me to learn French. In some ways, yes, but in other ways I disagree. French is very much a written language, where the spoken portions can vary at your heart’s content.

french has me saying “bruu-knee” and “care-ot cay-ke”

A Perception of Parisians Life

Paris is glamorized everywhere, but unless you’re living and navigating life here — especially while working on a French salary — it isn’t always glitter and gold. The median salary in Paris is around 50,000 euros a year, and this report states you’d need around 40k to live comforabtly in Paris.

This took my brain a while to adjust to and honestly it’s still shocking because in most US cities that salary just isn’t doable. Yet, I’m often told that 50k in Paris is “a good salary.” I have friends who’ve made 35k in Paris for large companies, so the salary definitely depends on the sector.

What is even more shocking is how my husband’s cousins who live in other parts of France are shocked at how “high” that salary is in relation to theirs. Meanwhile, trying to live on 50k in the US is a tall order — let alone in a big city.

On Tiktok, I see the French calling out “affordability” claims when people TikTok their purchases in Paris while emphasizing how “cheap” things are. While the euro has more purchasing power, most people don’t have high paying salaries at the same level that the US generally does. The spending habits of Parisians vs Americans is wildly different. A lot of Parisians say living in Paris is expensive and when you’re living in a city that has a large influx of tourists, you find a huge disparity of “affordability” across Paris.

All that to say, even though my husband and I earn half of what we did in the US, our quality of life is higher. We can afford mostly organic foods (this is still a luxury in France). Eating organic food was out of the question in the US. We go to the doctor worry free because we aren’t going to get slapped with an outrageous bill later. We walk everywhere and it’s fairly easy to get to do so — though I have to admit very few public transit stations are wheelchair accessible or stroller friendly.

Paris AMA!

What have you loved most about living in Paris? Least?

Walking everywhere might be my favorite part. I love that I can end up in a different coffee shop, park, museum or a shop based on the direction I decide to walk and explore. It’s such a drastic shift from my life in the US and it’s done wonders for my physical and mental health. My least favorite things are the heavy smoking and the French bureaucracy. You can’t always win!

one of my favorite museum courtyards in paris — carnavalet museum

Are Parisians actually mean?

I’ve only truly encountered two mean people in Paris. From my experience, everyone is generally kind. There are unspoken rules like saying “bonjour” as you enter an establishment that sets the tone for most interactions. Making an effort to communicate goes a long way.

Are Americans really loud in Paris?

Can I hear Americans before I can see them? Yes, but the French are loud too. My theory is that they hate that you’re louder than them. That said, I’ve still had to learn to speak more softly when I’m out and about.

Did your style shift living in Paris and how?

Yes, it’s changed a bit, specifically it’s become more tailored. I think this is largely due to the necessity of layering. Living in a city that actually has seasons and large temperature shifts morning to night has taught me how to layer intentionally. I’m often throwing a cardigan or scarf over my shoulders or layering a button down over a tank. I’ve always leaned minimal, but I’ve embraced a stronger identity with a “less is more” approach and love to use accessories to switch things up.

Best non-French food in Paris?

I’m working on a guide I hope to release next month, but a few of my favorites include Baanbeck for Thai, Oobtaz for pizza, Rang for Indian, and La Collective Parisienne for globally inspired dishes.

when you can’t wait for the phone to eat first

How has your life changed since moving to Paris?

It’s been a big, but positive shift! For example, I no longer have high cholesterol which was something I struggled with for years in the US. When I established care in Paris and had bloodwork done, I fully expected it to still be an issue. To my surprise, all of my levels were normal. I think partly because of walking everywhere (especially after meals), but also because I no longer feel stuffed after eating. I’ve still been able to continue to eat my fair share of pastries too!

I no longer spend 30+ minutes in a car to go anywhere. You could say I spend that walking or on the metro, but I find that much more enjoyable than sitting behind the wheel.

Another major area of change has been our spending habits. We’ve been more conscious of our spending and the way we consume in recent years, but it’s been heightened after our move. While my husband and I always paid our credit card bill every month, we no longer blindly charge everything to a card. We adhere more strictly to our budgets — banks even set limits on how much you can spend a month. Yes, I’m talking about spending your own money, not putting it on a card! You can request additional spending limits, but these constraints have genuinely shifted how we consume and spend our money.

wandering around paris last winter

Do you have a favorite season in Paris? What’s the best time to visit?

I’ve come to enjoy the cusp of seasons — those moments when the air starts to change slowly and the city feels full of nostalgia. These will be the scenes I’ll come back to when I describe Paris to my grandkids when I’m 80.

I truly love every season here. I was even enamored with Paris in August, which surprised me since there’s no real reprieve from the heat. I loved sitting in parks with a book and a treat while observing the people around me.

As for visiting, it depends on what you like! If you’re hoping to avoid peak tourist season (though, it always feels like a touristy season!), I would opt for April or early May. In the Fall, late September and early October are a beautiful time to visit.

How did you make friends? Did you already know some people? How not to be alone when you move abroad?

I would lean into things you enjoy! If you do things you like, you will show up for yourself and eventually you will meet others who enjoy the same things. Those connection points lend themselves to friends more easily in my opinion.

I made friends in French classes, online and through old friends. I have a mix of Mexican, German, American and French friends. My Mexican and German friends came through my French classes. My American friends through Instagram, TikTok and even Substack. My Parisian friends I’ve made through a friend I used to work with in the US.

I did know two people before moving. I knew Sarah Palmer was moving to Paris so I reached out when we were apartment hunting in October of 2024. During that same trip, a friend visiting Paris introduced me to her Parisian friends. I clicked with one immediately and we’ve grown closer over the years.

I’ve also made a dear friend thanks to Joanna Goddard from Big Salad, who shared one of my articles last year. She’s been reading a Cup of Jo for over 10 years and she happened to see Joanna’s restack. When she was reading my newsletter, she realized I had recently moved to Paris (she had also recently moved back!). She ended up reaching out and I immediately asked her if she wanted to grab a coffee. We became instant friends and she’s now one of my closest and dearest friends in Paris. We have Joanna to thank for our friendship !!

I had also reached out to a friend on TikTok who loves film photography on a whim and we’ve been inseparable since — you’ll often see her mentioned in my newsletters.

Do you consider yourself Parisian?

As someone who has lived between two cultures her entire life, it’s not a straightforward answer. Technically speaking, a Parisian is someone who lives in Paris — so by that definition alone, I’m Parisian. To me, to be Parisian is far beyond a zip code, but also a way of being.

Part of me wonders if I’ll ever fully claim it, because I’ll always be deeply influenced by Mexican and American culture. With each passing day, I feel more Parisian, but it’s a bold title and I’m not quite there yet.

ps — There is a saying in Spanish that goes “ni de aquí, ni de allá” which translates to “not from here, nor from there” which captures that fine line of living in between and not feeling like you quite belong in one place or in another.

Not a question, but I just wanted to say I appreciate how you always report on Paris. It’s never an absolute and you remind us that it’s just a small portion of Paris.

I appreciate it! Since our move, it’s been important to me to share honest representations of my experience while also being cognizant that they are just a small sliver of a reality composed of millions of points of view.

Follow me on Instagram and TikTok for more snippets of daily life in Paris. You can also find me on Indyx if you’d like to take a peek at what I’m wearing.

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I’m curious to know what sounded shocking to you?!

xx Ofelia

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